Anticipation...

For some reason this waiting for the new belt, and new life, is so agonizing at times its making me nuts. I want the belt here, want it on, want to hand over the keys. Ok, well that last part I am still in a turmoil about of course. This waiting has me back and forth about who and what to do with my keys/locks. Do I want to be locked in permanently? Do I need that? Truth be told, I have mixed emotions about it all. Some days I am quite calm and at peace, or even excited and aroused. Others I sit here in panic mode, thinking "what the hell are you thinking with this?". Before my belt gets here I will chat some more with my other friends seeking some guidance and advice.

While talking to all of my best friends over the last 10 days or so, every one of them, straight or gay, single or married, came to one indisputable fact, that they all think I need to be locked in the belt long term. So all of them know, they all think that is the right path for me. Given the variety of relationship types and backgrounds, that says a lot. They are not telling me this simply they think its what I need to hear. They are giving me their honest opinion on what they know of me. I want to talk with each of them more and pick their brains and see why they think that and what they advise me to do. They all seemed to agree that I have been much happier when locked long term, and honestly cannot give me a reason NOT to be locked permanently.

Well I am not sure what will happen. I know I want to wear my belt, and am better when the control is there and no keys are available. So there needs to be someone in charge of the keys. It is simply a matter of how long the belt remains on. This is something I need to figure out. I need to spend some more of this agonizing time pondering the issue and trying to either come to peace with the already setup permanent chastity deal, or figure out if there is a better alternative for myself. I will post here as my thoughts tend to overrun my brain and get all jumbled. Ciao for now!