Post I wrote...

I wrote this post for another forum over at lockedm4m.net, but wanted to copy it here for all of you to read too...
(Their site is http://www.lockedm4m.net/ and this was posted in the forum segment 'locked life' )



Ok first let me start by saying for most people, most of the time, this is purely fantasy. I also do agree that in most relationships, a permanent lockdown does give the power to the wearer in regards to this concept. Also I do agree with other blogs that life changes, that we cannot predict major life changes, major injuries, etc. And for most while the idea of permanent chastity is a fantasy that they use to get themselves aroused, others are scared of the thought, or dismiss it wholly.

Now some about me, I am a single, gay sub/bottom male living in the Mormon Holyland of Utah behind the Zion Curtain. I live alone, have been thru a major disability, and have had quite possibly a life many could never understand. I have not had a boyfriend in over 6 years, nor even a play partner in more than 5 years. Not for looking, have I been alone, but lets face it, I am at the point where things relationship-wise are at a standstill. I am not willing to compromise on what I want in a BF, and until I find it, something has to change. I have found that for me, even when able to JO, I don't, only cumming once a month or less. In fact my time spent setting my personal record in my old Neosteel was the happiest time in my life. I was more-or-less self locked for most of that term of 2 years, 2 months, and 22 days. In fact it may have never ended were it not for a Dom friend online catching me in a weak moment. For me the control IS the arousal. I know that is not the case for 90% of the guys out there. For most, having a BF/KH/Wife/etc. keep them locked and the denial is the erotic foreplay to a great play session. For me that is not the case.

I have been into several fetishes ever since I can remember, recreational orthopedics (casting/braces/wheelchairs) since I was a young kid, bondage also, even when I was little. I was always the one who wanted to be the "bad guy" and get tied up by the sheriff. When I got a bit older and the internet became a major source of info, while I was in High School, then, I found out about Chastity Belts, and the idea immediately aroused me. Many of my fantasies were born then. I do love bondage, being restrained (the tighter and more elaborate, and emcompassing, the better), and even link my casting fetish to medical bondage. It is just the way I am. It is also part of why it is so hard for me to find a BF that is close in age, and someone with similar interests. For the last 15-17 years, I have been loving chastity belts, and have worn one for probably 80% of the last 10 years or more. My first being a Curve, then getting more and more serious about it. Going from the plastic ones to a Lori Tube, then even to full belts (Neosteel's work better for me).

Recently (about 15 days ago) I ordered my new neosteel. When I did place the order, knowing I need to be in a full belt control wise, my best friend, a straight mormon boy, who does know all about my activities and fetishes (he does not care in the least), even said "I think being belted long term again is a good thing for you. You need that." The he offered to keep the keys safe from me, in order to prevent a repeat of my record lockdown from before, more particularly the way it ended. The end of that term, left me with some depression and a lot of regret. My friend suggested I should go no less than the old record and we do know I am able to handle that, as he was around as a friend when I was in that last term. He also said that once we make an agreement, whatever the term is, that will be it. A few days ago he asked me IF I wanted out at all, which that aroused me beyond all question. Here it is, the ideal of permanent lockdown.

Now we do all know that in order for this to be true, 100% permanent lockdown, it would be a feat of the human body. I am 32 years old, and the chances that the belt will have to be removed at some point for medical or something, are significant. So since my friend and I will agree to a term before, and I will spell it out in terms on paper, covering all the issues that could arise. But at the end of the day, he agrees that permanent lockdown seems to be the right path. He has known me for a long time, and does understand more than just about anyone else I know. So I guess let me spell out how this situation will work. At this point, he will come take the keys once I am settled in the belt, and that will be it. To be honest, I eagerly await that moment. Here is a look at how the rules will play out in this...

The belt will be worn indefinitely. One key will be kept with the KH (my friend), and one will be in a keypad safe here in my home, to which he will set the combo with me not in the room. It has an 8 digit combo code, so there is no random code trial to get out. Then the key, AND a photo of the belt, with the numbered wire seal, will go into the safe, and it will be closed. At that point there is no going back (more or less, will elaborate in a few). I will indeed be in a situation where the goal is permanent chastity (yes, I am aware of the medical issues, and will cover that below as well). There will be no release under normal circumstances just to play. The belt will be for all purposes locked on for good.

Now I do know there are situations both medically and mentally where things may require release due to extreme distress. That is the reason for the safe and him having a key as well. In an emergency, there is a way to still get out. Should the belt need to be removed for a temporary condition, medically, and will be able to be put back on, then I am obligated to do so. My KH can also end the agreement at any time due to "Major Life Changes (ie. marriage of one of us, moving, etc)". But barring a major life change, or medical or severe mental issue, the belt will indeed remain locked. In order to provide a safety say for me, we have put in a "release program" clause too, which says at the 3 year mark, I can choose to end the agreement, but to prevent a weak moment decision, I would remain locked for 1-2 years (time TBD) as a cooling off period, to ponder the choice to end, and to either change my mind and stay locked, or remain on the cooldown until the belt comes off.

I highly doubt I will make use of that clause, as I want to be locked, but it is there anyways, as a responsible thing to do. Short of that, medical, mental or life changes, I will remain chaste as long as the belt can remain on. The ideal goal in this is permanent chastity, and that is what the thought process needs to be as in my mind, as once locked, it is doubtful I will be out again. I have talked with my physicians, and they agree, that as long as I am monitoring the prostate health, and the skin health, I could remain locked indefinitely. I am a former EMT, hospital ortho-tech, and home healthcare patient tech, so health is not a mystery to me, and I do know if its time to call it health-wise.

My friend, being straight, will not be doing much checking on the belt, just the wire seal from time to time, but then again, he does have the keys safe, so not like I could do much anyways. Also I ordered a custom collar from Neosteel, matched to my belt, and in our agreement, while at home I will wear the collar as well, and also will wear it from time to time out in public. None of that scares me. In fact, I am quite happy about this all. As for me, these things give me arousal, and as a gay bottom sub, anal sex (even if with a dildo) is more pleasurable to me anyways. I know I am a unique person in my situations, and doubt many out there can understand. I am also sure I will see the typical comments about "what if, or this is fake, or permanent chastity doesn't exist, etc." Let me assure you this IS the real deal, and my real life, and I for one want to be in a belt for the rest of my life non-stop if able. I hope you all read this and enjoy my self-inflicted predicament, as I will be enjoying it. If someone out there is also in a permanent lock-down, I would love to hear an account of how you came to the choice to be locked forever.